Stop! Sabbatical time!

Okay, that's it. I'm officially going on sabbatical. Much of 2012 is going to be full of continuing education, development, writing, photoing, fine tuning, and relaxing. I thought I'd get all of that done this year. My brain is screaming to my heart right now, "Wrong, fool! Keep it goin'!" My heart wants a cookie for the pain.

We're in our new place in less than a month and there is still so much to organize and toss and pack. I have so much reading to do on entrepreneurship via some kick-ass resources, so much writing to do in general, so much photo work to do (ai yah, I need to make more time for that next year), so much resting to do to reinforce this whole wellness lifestyle, etc. My brain looks at everything, compartmentalizes life into neat little boxes, and gives the rest of me a punk attitude, like my body can do what it did when I was younger. (If only getting carded chronically could make my body younger. Sad face.) My body looks at my brain and gives it the stink eye. My heart just pounds because it can't decide which thing to take on first so settles on working on a few small things concurrently, and then it feels overwhelmed with looking at surrounding things to do and wishes for a cookie to appear. I'll still be blogging but the big website I have envisioned won't be up for a little while. Damn, I need to make the temporary site live... after finishing that... and also finish the holiday cards, which will be mailed next week since I had to order breast cancer stamps because my local post offices had none and I'm not waiting in any more long lines this year.

By the way, the best ideas I've had this month involved combining pumpkin spice and snickerdoodle mixes and using the cinnamon sugar topping on formed cookies before baking. They. Are. Ridiculously. Fantastic! And in my refrigerator. So I'm off to get a cookie. Because I can. And because I need it for my well being.

These giraffes cannot run 35 mph (56 kph)

First, a shout out to Lemuel J. Lott, for fixing my iPhone 3GS voicemail. Whoop whoop! I should've asked if he could repair the power button on the phone since that's been extremely wonky lately, but there's a local place that can fix it for fairly cheap with a 15 minute in person turnaround time. I've got to go there soon.

Nothing screams out Korean sauna
with fire sudatorium and food court
like a family of giraffes, right?

I've been curious about this family of giraffes for a few years, and my curiosity was peaked this summer when I drove by at night and noticed the festive giraffery. I took a few minutes out of my commute to snap this amazing marketing tool, and visited the King Spa website just now. Holy crap, this place looks awesome on the inside! Not what I'd expected.

I'm not surprised that this is in the Asian Trade District, but giraffes? Maybe it's the African connection to the Pyramid room they have, or something. Someone who visited it had some good things to say about her experience there. I may have to try this soon. After we finish moving across town. (OMG I loathe packing.) I'm kinda meh when it comes to Korean food but I love that the menu offers the mighty and noble corn dog.

Hopefully by then I'll have scored a full-time jobby job that I can do. I've been worrying about this since I left my last job due to health issues (yay discovery of having Sjogren's Syndrome), but there are plenty of things out there that I'm totally able to do without wearing myself out. Basic admin stuff, for the most part. (EDIT:  I really want to work full time again but still worry about my body crapping out from whenever the uber-fatigue hits. I truly don't know if I'll be able to but I'd love to find out. I'd love to also see about working more hours part time. I am all for that right now. Bills don't pay themselves. I digress.)

Thing is, I'm WAY overqualified to be a basic admin, and I've had no luck with applications for that and similar positions. Even applications for jobs at the level I was at have gone mostly nowhere. I've had three in person interviews since March. Three. Total. The few very considerate rejection notes I've received were nice, but I'm really tired of being frustrated with not bringing in a decent income. Being on UI (at Tier One federal level now, yay) has helped, but gah I'm so not used to not working! At least I've had nine months to recuperate from pushing myself way too hard for several years, with having Sjogren's but not knowing I've had it.

Speaking of jobbing, I am very grateful to a friend of mine for hooking me up with a job helping him and others. It's basically organizing and filing sheet music (a LOT of sheet music for a LOT of instruments), but it is craziness how scattered everything has gotten due to being too busy to file from doing lots of liturgies (services, for you non-Catholics) so I'm glad to help, even if only for five hours a week. I'm even more glad to get paid extremely well for filing, but I do have a music education degree plus spent five years working in liturgy at the diocesan level so I'm sure some of that compensation is for my expertise. It's so wonderful being back in music again, even though I've had no experience with orchestral anything aside from coordinating brass musicians, listening to music, and observing my husband practicing the violin a few years ago. Yay for learning a new job skill!

Chaos is swirling again

There's a lot going on right now that I don't have the time to go into, but I'm kinda nearly done with my website. Just have to process a few more photos, upload, change some coding, then make it live. It's nowhere where I'd like it to be but further development will have to wait until mid-2012 on account of packing and moving and jobbing and chillaxing and such as.

The power button on my iPhone is wonky again but I found a local place that does national repairs so I'm hitting that in the next few days. I'd much rather pay a lower cost for a replacement button and have a 15 minute turnaround for getting my phone back than the alternative of sending it away to Apple. This place has Apple certified technicians and is BBB accredited so I'm not worried.

I'm halfway through the annual Christmas mailing prep. I have 170 on for this year (same as last year) but with a few changes in people. So interesting how people float into and out of one's life.

I've finally updated my LinkedIn to better reflect what's on my resume. I've also made my Facebook page visible since I really need to get my personal brand going. (Hooray for a few of my friends liking it already!) It was fun doing Gate of Life at a local level, and I learned a lot of things through that over the years. I still haven't taken down the photo goods store since I've been a bit preoccupied, but I'll get to it after I do a new store with better pics under my name.

We got a deal from Death Star!

I've been a Death Star (see the logo) customer since February 2006. It is now December 2011. You would think that I'd get great customer service from them, but even one of their automated systems kicked me out plus told me to go to a retail store. I've been a bit annoyed, very understatedly.

Hubby and I both have an iPhone 3GS. Over 75 minutes, I attempted the hell to communicate with AT&T about transferring from the 550 minute a month plan (since we never use our minutes) to the 10 cent a minute paygo plan while keeping our data services. I've heard this is possible from the interweb plus from 3 of the reps I talked with today, even though this possibility is nowhere to be found on the AT&T website. This should be easy to accomplish, yes?

No. Not only no, but a booming resounding HELL NO all Moses and Ten Commandments and lightning from the top of Mount Olympus style.

The first call went well until there was no option to get to a customer service representative on the GoPhone side. I got booted out of the system because my wireless number wasn't in their system and because I did not have documentation needed for activating a new phone.

The second call sucked major ass because I could barely hear the person on the other line. (I actually giggled about calling about a phone issue while being on a line with horrid quality. I now know this was wrong. Giggling was soon replaced by thoughts of beheading and smiting, especially after many fake and obligatory apologies.) I was transferred to someone who could allegedly better help me, but that person was also difficult to hear, and ended up giving me the 800 number to the first person.

The third call was answered by a very friendly and helpful lady. She was genuinely apologetic and gave me two good numbers to call. Yay!

The fourth call ended with the same result as the first call, so I tried the second number given by Helpful Lady.

The fifth call featured me lying about having documentation and/or SIM cards and/or I don't know what else, just to try to get to a person on the GoPhone side. The automated system told me I'd have to go to an AT&T retail store and speak with someone there.

Seriously? The automated phone wench didn't have a human serviceperson to boot me to at all??

Have I mentioned that it feels so barbaric to use a land line and have to dial 1 before the 800??

The sixth call was answered by someone who sounded like Denzel. He was extremely helpful and knew exactly where I needed to be in the phone labyrinth. He also mentioned (unlike the other reps) that hubby's phone is actually still under contract and wouldn't be up until April. Well, alrightie then.

Denzel hooked me up with someone who was freaking incredible to talk with. (Benjamin Prius, I hope I didn't mangle the spelling of your last name. Mad props to you sir, and I hope you get lovely snow this weekend in Lubbock!) Apparently the iPhone is an exception to the GoPhone rules and doesn't count as a regular smartphone. Balls. After some chatting and some amazement on his part since he could see that I'd talked with a few people within the hour, he hooked me up with some better rates on plans not normally offered. The upshot is that we'll save $20 a month, which will help since we're planning to move across town in two months (aah!). I'd hoped to save $60 a month with getting the 10 cent a minute plan for both of us, but oh well. At least I tried and something good happened out of the ordeal.

Maybe in April when hubby's contract is up, we'll look at paygo again, but the iPhone 5 should be hitting about then (or news about it, anyway), so we'll see. Technically we could go paygo now, but I'd have to buy a different smartphone and he'd have to get a new phone too plus fork up the early termination fee. No thanks. We're both happy with our 3GS phones and use our computers way more for computery things anyway, but I'd still love a better phone cam. I could get that now with the 4S on a new contract but I'll wait. I'll be busy packing and jobbing and job looking and crashing so I might as well wait.

In other news for today, I'm still frustrated at not having my personal website finished. I'm streamlining the holiday card list and putting everything together for mailing. I finally got my certificate of creditable coverage from UHC so added that to my BCBSTX certificate and faxed them to Cigna today. Now they'll pay several of my doctors for working my pre-existing conditions plus pay for labwork (well, when I call everyone back with the all clear to refile the claims). It's been so annoying at trying to get this from UHC since like, oh, June. Of course, while cleaning while packing last night, I found the original one they sent to me in April in an unopened envelope, so that's very much a my bad and I feel utterly stupid for not realizing I've had it all this time!! I'm a day late for making sure our tags are registered but am glad there's a 5 day grace period. I was hoping to have already been to the local Tom Thumb (to do the tag thing) and be back home by now. I haven't even showered yet! Gah, it's 3:45 pm and I haven't even eaten lunch yet. I suppose I should do that next.

We got deathstar, we got deathstar....

Aaaaugh! I can't take it anymore!

I've got to start keeping a record of all the grammatical errors I see online. I've cringed at some understandable ones seen in nationally published articles. I'm wincing yet amused at one I just saw on Facebook about a logo change on Saddleback Leather products. The context and error: "Bags I purchase forthwith shan't match the ones I currently own. Alas, I shall bear the yolk."

Why he puts eggs in full grain leather awesomeness is beyond me.

I've been fairly busy lately, being productive, getting stuff done around the homestead, etc. I've started more creative things, got the holiday cards created and ordered and delivered in time for working on during Thanksgiving weekend, etc. I am still not happy with website design re: my site so am trying other design elements, etc.

Dammit, now I want an omelet.

Thoughts of today and long ago

Today (11/11/2011) at 11:11 am, hubby and I looked at otters online here, here, and here while waiting for Skyrim to install on his computer. We had to get a new graphics card for his computer, but no big whoop and the game looks gorgeous.

Today was also Nigel Tufnel Day, because hello, today was turned up to 11.

Today marked Veterans Day and I smiled at all of the thanks and memories floating across my Facebook feed. I was particularly happy to see that former U.S. Marine Scott Olsen (the guy critically injured at Occupy Oakland several weeks ago) is now out of the hospital. However, I was a bit disturbed to read an article mentioning his administrative discharge and website for Marines to vent about the Marine Corps. Mental health of our troops really needs to be addressed more than it is now. I know several retired military members who've had difficulties with PTSD and I worry for the families with relatives fighting overseas these days since they'll likely deal with it as well.

Thanks to the Vietnam War, my dad got to kick ass
in the air. I was born later in the year awarded so I like
to think I saved him from being more involved with it.

The mental thing brought my dad to mind. He retired many years ago from the U.S. Air Force as a Technical Sergeant and passed away in early 2006 from a hypertensive heart attack. This happened after a few years of not speaking to me or my sister, likely due to some form of dementia. The last time I saw him was in early 2004, and when he opened his door he saw bald-headed me rockin' a denim bucket hat next to my husband. He talked for a few seconds - basically hi and sorry I didn't get the door sooner but I was in the bathroom - and then he shut the door in my face. That was kind of a shocker, especially as we'd traveled 200 miles to see him (and others), but the antisocial behavior was expected so we left after a few seconds of standing there stunned.

When I was 9 or 10, he told me about something in our family turning people into agoraphobic hermits later in life, and how he didn't want "to go out like that." I'd figured this was what was going on, so was kinda comforted but was really sad that I couldn't do anything to help. I know he liked the care he was getting at the local VA hospital, since he'd expressed that to me when I was in high school. His medical records show that he was a mostly compliant patient but he skipped his last routine appointment if I remember correctly. From what we gathered, he decided to give up on life and rationalized killing himself without directly killing himself. He'd sold his car, and in a prominent place was a newspaper clipping featuring a red circle drawn around a good deal for a gravesite or funeral arrangements or something related anyway. His food consisted of Chinese delivery orders plus saltine crackers and canned chili ordered and delivered through Walgreens. The number of meticulously cleaned styrofoam containers and large cardboard boxes mailed to him astonished us.

I kinda wish I'd gotten his hard drives but I was too icked out to want to deal with any of his computer stuff then, since his body was found a few weeks after he died.* Normally I wouldn't have been fazed but at the time I was working in the disaster preparedness field relating to hospital bioterrorism, so things I'd learned about public health situations froze me a bit. It didn't occur to me until weeks later that I could've asked someone to take care of that for me, but everything in his apartment was long tossed or given away by then. I sometimes wonder if there was anything important on his computer that would explain what was going on in his mind. I'd thought about that at the time but my germaphobe brain rationalized that it was unlikely due to mental deterioration and no password laid out in obvious sight like the newspaper clipping. I still wonder about it though.

I also wonder if he just never recovered after losing mom to metastatic cervical cancer back in late 1988, even though he went on with his life. He dated two women for years, and one of them wanted to marry him but he refused to since he didn't want to get married again at all. We found that he'd saved a hairbrush (with some of mom's hair still in it) along with several other things, including old photos and a cassette tape that likely contained a recording of her voice. There were so many questions we couldn't answer about the whole situation, but we handled it as best as we could. It's definitely difficult to be there for someone when the someone keeps protective walls up for who knows what reasons. It's even more difficult when it's a family member and you've done all you possibly can to help.

This Veterans Day, I'm sad for the veterans who aren't receiving proper care whether on active duty or retired. There have been some improvements in the VA system but I still shudder when I think of stories I've heard over the years. To all veterans, thank you for your service, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need help. No one will think any less of you.

* I'll refrain from getting into the way grody details, even though that stuff fascinates me, but the rest of this is for anyone interested: I didn't go into his bedroom to see his body (hubby and brother-in-law insisted I stay back), and the only apparent funk was on the carpet where a foot was touching. He'd collapsed onto his bed after perhaps walking there from the living room, since the TV was on when the welfare check started. Thankfully, his apartment was well sealed, and there were no maggots even though it had been a few weeks since death occurred. That was a happy surprise.

Scars are cool like bowties and fezzes.

Too bad Yoda couldn't regenerate
into a Wookiee.

Thanks be to Facebook, I saw this pic from someone else that was shared by a friend. Looking through that someone else's other public pics was a great idea since I found a quote from another friend of someone else that's so freaky amazing that I have to share it right now.

"Scars are pretty damn awesome - not the getting of them, but having them. They're pretty and they tell stories. Shows we've lived properly." - Gwen Fyfe

I'm currently 38 but have plenty of scars to show. Some are physical (I have plenty of scar tissue from the boob cancer surgery). Some are mental (I hate the stupid fibro/Sjogren's fog when it rolls around, not to mention the processing lag time I have from chemo brain changes that have lingered for almost 8 years). Some are emotional (although my dad was a bit mentally off in his later years and hadn't seen me in a few years when I last visited, I am still amazed that he shut his front door in my bald-headed puffy chemo face after 15 seconds of conversation).

Some days I feel like I'm 900 years old like Yoda there. Some days I feel as chipper as Dr. Time Lord there. Some days, a few of the scars show. Some days they don't. Naturally as a breast cancer survivor, I've heard talk of our scars being badges of honor. How very Klingon. Reminds me of General Martok in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, after losing his left eye. He doesn't wear an eyepatch. He shows that scar for everyone to see. We've been watching lots of DS9 lately thanks to Netflix, and we're almost to the point of when Sisko loses the station. Unlike the disappointed Netflix customers, hubby and I never bothered to do the DVD side since it seemed like more of a pain in the ass than anything else, though easy to do. We've only had streaming and have been very happy with it. Streaming is cool. Ooh, tangent.

Not to glorify the getting of scars, but the only mention of scars being desirable that I can recall having read about was in my overall leather education via Saddleback Leather. (SBL makes incredible quality leather awesomeness in the U.S.A. backed by a 100 year warranty. Yes, really. The Chamberlain's Leather Milk there rocks the Casbah, too.) Leather 101 mentions that, "Your bag may have a few small scars and imperfections, but those just lend a tremendous amount of character to it." The Questions page even includes information on how some scars are more valuable and sought after than other scars. (Scroll down to the bottom and go up a tiny bit.)

My small SBL chestnut satchel has had quite a few scratches on it, but that's the thing about full grain leather - the more it is used and is properly cared for while aging, the more character it gets. Character gets made from scars. Having character is cool. It's not like flaunting the hip seasonal trendy purses made in China that don't last and might contain lead in the coloring. It's not like paying for an uber-expensive designer label for showing off whatever status you want other people to think you have (regardless of actual status, which people shouldn't give a fuck about anyway). Character, like SBL products, exudes perfection in quality imperfection. It's designed to last and be shown and used instead of being set aside like so much Fonzie.

Blah.

The last few weeks have been kinda blah. Hope of hearing back from a part-time job opportunity that sounds like it was designed for me (sustainability and environmental issues / entrepreneuring / pet care / admin fun / running errands for others) has been fading, and I'm kinda bummed out about it. I'm kinda bummed out about losing out on another job (likely to someone retired, as was mentioned in passing as being one of two people they were really interested in, the other being me). Of course, with the stagnant economy, I have to wonder if my asking price (less than the going rate for executive assistants) is too high for most places. Yes, I know people can hire monkeys to do basic admin work, but 15 years of experience with dealing with tons of types of people and services should count for something. Sigh. I do have a small part-time gig thanks to a friend, and although it's only 5 hours per week right now, I'm excited about that since I'm using my degree again kinda. Yay! :)

The utterly amazing Allie Brosh has amazed the interweb again with her Adventures in Depression. She truly has a gift for relating things many of us can't put adequately into words, and her illustrations are the icing on that caaaaake!

My husband and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary today. We've received a lot of happy happy via Facebook, and I have no idea what we'll be doing this weekend on account of coming down with seasonal crud earlier this week. Pics from the early Tenthaversary trip to New Mexico are still pending for all to see. I started over with processing them since I've been playing more with Lightroom 3 and Elements 9, and it's slow going mainly because I need a better computer chair to reinforce my good posturing. Sitting up as I should without any support from my director's chair is kinda ouchy. I've at least made progress with cleaning out old photos, but am still slogging through cleaning out and organizing old files of every other type. Ai yah.

Before I forget to mention this again, my website is now up. (Hey, there's a pic from our recent NM trip!) There's so much going on behind the scenes it's ridiculous, but I really want to show all that when most everything is in place, and right now a few key parts are missing. I feel like Jeff Bezos with the Kindle Fire - working on the spectacular while noting what others are doing and how the public reaction goes. I've been doing so much intel on what other photographers do, how they have their sites laid out, that I've been yet again overwhelmed with all the design possibilities, but I've got a definite direction now so whoop there it is.

In very happy news, the third iPad has given me no problems at all. Looks like changing to a static IP address was the key for this one. Still have no idea why that didn't work for the others, but I'm glad I've had no issues since getting this one. Router still shows advanced security is in place, and all other wireless is working fine (except for my laptop birthed in 2006, but that's plugged in directly, 3 ft from the router in the living room, where I use it all the time anyway, so no big whoop there).

Occupy things have gotten interesting. Oakland is a mess, people in Dallas marched in support of the police who took some of them to jail a few days prior, New Yorkers are braving the early cold weather, etc. According to the Global Rich List, even with being on unemployment insurance I'm in the top 14.22% of people in the world. If I were still at my last job, I'd be in the top 2.3%. Compared to the other 7 billion people on this planet, I'm pretty freakin' lucky, blessed, fortunate, whatever. However. Even when I was there, most of my cashish went to necessities like groceries, gas, bills, medical visits, and medications. It amazes me what people think necessities are in this day and age. I've been in conversations about that, about generational perspectives, about OWS mixed in, and that's another post for another time but suffice it to say, I'm glad there are still people around who have the common sense to "use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." Speaking of the Occupy movement, these signs are heartbreaking, particularly today's sign by an allegedly 11 year young person.

I keep updating this post with tidbits I've forgotten to share. I wonder how much this messes up RSS feeds.

Names are very important. Yes.

Exhibit A: Screenshot of
late afternoon otter talk

I've been meaning to address a name issue for a little while and am finally doing so now as I've found the reference I've been searching for. In this reference (see Exhibit A: Screenshot of late afternoon otter talk), mention was made of pup 540 at the Monterey Bay Aquarium hopefully getting a proper name in short order. A happy German asian small-clawed otter celebrity remarked that "all otters should have proper names! Where I come from (Aquazoo) we do get names. Yes."

Nemo is adorable, and of course his sentiments are something hubby and I have worked into conversations more and more. Like, "I think we should have fish for dinner. Yes.", etc. Notice that I've blued out the last part of my name - that's because I use my maiden and married names on Facebook, mainly as I never use my husband's last name otherwise. I'm not sure if he'd like to be well known on this blog since he's more of an introvert than I am, so I've greened his name out. For all intents and purposes, my legal name is pretty much obviously obvious in this blog's url, so I'm not hiding who I am, I'm just sharing my more personal side under a different name in the Facebook screenshots. Just wanted to clear that up for anyone wondering.

Speaking of the importance of names, descriptions are also very important, especially when people are involved (more so than inanimate objects anyway, even though Ikea has done a great job with naming their products). Yes. Like how hubby is an INTP and I'm an INFJ (unless he's temporarily INFP and I'm temporarily ENFJ). Like how the Texas Rangers are the 2010 and 2011 ALCS Champions. (Hopefully they'll be the 2011 World Series Champions as well; it's 1-1 with the St. Louis Cardinals at present. This is a Very Important Thing here in North Texas, this description.) Like Nancy Upton is not the Next Big Thing but doesn't need to be since she's perfectly awesome as she is. If you're not familiar with the name Nancy Upton or the whole Next Big Thing thing, educate yourself here. And swoon over her hotness here and here. You're welcome.

I'm so confused (but not really).

I'm eagerly hoping that the DNS propagation thing finishes quickly so my website can resolve. Um, the website that I'm consolidating everything under, like photography and writing and social media and whatevs. I decided to pay a little extra for an easier interface and I am flipping out still. I'm so used to DirectAdmin that cPanel so far is seemingly shockingly suspiciously easy to work with, or would be when I figure out where everything is. It's confusing. I'm not used to my interface opening every single thing-I-wanna-work-with in a separate tab. It is freaking. me. out. big time. but I'm sure it'll get easier.

I'm mainly curious as to if it'll be easier for several of my peeps to work with since I'm aiming to transition web work to them. Like, will my kinfolk be able to grok which feature does what? Will my small business owner friends be able to pick things up more quickly with this interface or the other one? Like I said, hopefully my site will resolve soon so I don't get error reports and can actually see what the page looks like live. I'd be able to see what it should look like if I were using DirectAdmin, so I'm sure the feature is in cPanel somewhere but I haven't found where yet. This is confusing me way too much, for something that should be easier to work with. Then again, one of my mottos is, "Why do things the easy way when you can do them the hard way?" so *shrug*.

One of my Facebook friends shared a text photo that says, "Missing someone isn't about how long it's been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you talked. It's about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were right there by your side." I commented, "Very true. Some days, like today, it's pretty sucky, but for the most part it's great when this happens. :)" Today's a private anniversary day for me (when there is celebration of something significant in one of my past lives within this life), and this one has me not as nostalgic as past years but more frustrated with lack of overall communication with a person related to this day. I'm not going to describe this as well as I'd like because I don't have the perfect words, but I'm a bit sad that I can't talk with this person as I used to. There were years of friendly banter and these conversations of greatness that would occur, and for some years there's been nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. (Okay, maybe 1 or 2 brief things if whatever subject was interesting, I guess.) And that's fine, really, since life changes, but to me it's such a shame when people don't maintain friendly relationships even superficially (like dropping a random note a few times a year). I'm on friendly speaking terms with people who've been way more involved with huge intensely messy parts of my life, and most of them are not as nifty as the person I'm thinking about, so I'm all "what a waste" right now. Sigh.

That said, there are somewhat equivalent people in my life I'd rather not hear from more than once or twice a year (and I'm sure I'm in this category with said person above), but I'd still love to hear from them and catch up with them about life things. There are also people I converse with on Facebook a bit more superficially than that (dropping random comments whenever, and sometimes sharing various media bits), and I miss them and they know it. That's how things should be. Most times they miss me too, and that's always neat. I haven't seen any of these people I'm talking about in for-freaking-ever, but that's okay. Now I'm a little confused on what my point is, besides that I wish I heard from some people more often and like before, but some things are too much to ask from life, and that's sad. It's like, some people are idiots, and they can't help but be idiots, but they could at least try to not be so idiotic. (See, not a good description, but you know what I mean.)

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

Hrrrm.

The iPad actually seems to be doing great. It hasn't crashed and hasn't gotten stuck. Amazing. I think it's because I gave it a static IP address. Why this didn't work on the other two, who knows, but it seems to be working well enough that I'm comfortable with putting an anti-glare sticky on the screen. Still not sure about upgrading to the iPhone 4S any time soon.

I had two mild heart leaps while looking at Google News, both because of past jobs I've had. My diocesan past life made me wonder if I knew the Catholic bishop in Kansas City charged with not alerting police about child porn. (Don't know him.) My disaster preparedness past life made me wonder if I knew the deputy director at the CDC arrested for child molestation and bestiality. (Don't know her.) It's a small world but thankfully it's still plenty spacious for me.

I'm savoring the first block of Ghirardelli's Sea Salt Soiree bar - dark chocolate with coarse sea salt and roasted almonds. I've been wary of the sea salt dessert epidemic even though it sounds tasty in my mind. So far, me likey. Later tonight I'm going to try a Woodchuck Pumpkin cider. I'm so thrilled I actually found a 6 pack - the production run is only 2 1/2 hours so there aren't a lot of bottles of the stuff out there. Very much looking forward to enjoying it!

OMG!!! SO EXCITED!!! CAN'T SLEEP!!!

Brian is one of my husband's most favorite people in the history of ever. They knew each other back in college and I really really really need to meet Brian in person someday. Brian is an art professor and designated me as his muse ages ago. I adored him to begin with but I adore him even more for this. Also, he's very, very hot. :)

At around midnight, birthday boy Brian and his partner Tim "got engaged. Barefoot in the grass. Under a full moon. Surrounded by a circle of hippies spinning fire. Who raised a canopy of flaming swords over them. After Brian proposed with a hand-woven copper ring, laden with historical significance." Best Marriage Proposal Ever!! Many many congrats to them!! *smooches and hugs and more wine for all!*

Since I have a lifelong mission of spreading the damn love, lookie here!

Part 1

Part 2

Beautiful photo

*swoon!*

In other news, I started tweeting a little again, and deleted all the photos from 3 different photo services used between 320 and 699 days ago. Gonna go through the last few years of tweets and remove the crap ones like Foursquare bleats and various other craps, but am going through my photography discussion groups on LinkedIn since I haven't done that in like three months. Oh, the Vicodin I took earlier kicked in after 2.5 hours, and it's helped somewhat with the muscle relaxation (along with a bottle of Woodchuck Fall cider - nom!). I'm still awfully stiff but am just kinda spacing now, from that and from the need to get to sleep, but I'm in work mode, and blah! Did you see that photo and the videos above? Were those not uber-cool!?? :)

Blah blah update

I think I'm done adjusting the look of this blog, with the fonts and colors and nachos and car keys. The background photo is one I took earlier this year. I need to prep it for sales but today is not that day. Today is the day for thieving a generic Vicodin from my husband, who has a few left over from wisdom tooth surgery from a few months ago. It's only a 5/500, so will only make my stiff muscles feel better for about 30 minutes. Mrawr. I need it today though - more later on that.

I'm pretty convinced that my router is working fine and dandy, but because I have better things to do with my time, I'm going to get another one and start a new setup for everything. I'm looking for a good wireless dual band gigabit router since I won't have to worry about overlapping surrounding networks or equipment upgrade-this-and-that for years. I'll get right on that, eh, probably tomorrow. So far the new-to-me iPad has only dropped 3 times, but I haven't been on it as much as before (yet).

Tomorrow I'll also look at new mobile phones in more detail. I have the iPhone 3GS and am thrilled that it's working again (guess who dropped it in the Apple store the other day and caused it to not be able to shut off or snap screenshots?). However, I surf less on that since I downgraded to a cheaper data plan, plus I'm on the computer or iPad more often. It makes and receives phone calls plus gives me access to quick checks of email, and I'm good with that. I don't use many apps so no biggie there. The 4S would be nifty but pre-order fulfillment is at 21-28 days (last time I checked, anyway), and the 5 should be out by next June or October... another year at most to wait, anyway. I have a separate "real" compact camera and separate iPod classic and separate Kindle so don't need to waste the phone battery for pics and entertainment and books (oh my). It's great while out and about, but for full time non-stop use, eh, kinda weak.

I will be vegging for the rest of the day. Seeing my LMTs and chiropractors this morning helped with wellness, although I have to go back in 6 days (next Monday) because I'm still jacked. I feel 60% improved overall compared with last week, when my main chiro squeeze for the last 9 years couldn't move anything at all, but I saw a different guy today and he had better luck. Everything was pretty much back to normal except for the neck. C4/C5 moved on my right side, but that was it. He told me that I impressed him very much, since my neck was being very resistant to him using more force than usual. I don't think he's experienced this with anyone else so far, based on his amazement at my bulletproof Cardassianish sternocleidomastoids. My SCMs aren't usually an issue, either. My usual involves the trapezius, rhomboids, scalenes, omohyoids, supraspinatus, infraspinatus, and I'm probably missing something. Occasionally there'll be gunk with other muscles, but only occasionally.

For the record, my chiro peeps are not woo. They work with evidence-based science and promote nutrition with exercise instead of simply trusting energy waves to do physical work for them. They are also very highly trained in Active Release Technique and 20 minutes of ART helps me more than a 110 minute sports-type table massage. Really, it's literally that awesome. I know there are cases of people being seriously injured with chiropractic care, but these people work on local tri- and other athletes and Olympic medalists, so I trust them, especially as they're not woo. I think woo chiropractic harms more than helps, and is probably the cause of why injuries happen. (I don't know this for sure; research is needed, but I wouldn't be surprised.)

Speaking of science, I got put on the e-stim machine at the end again, for the 4th visit in a row. This has not been a normal thing for me. I'd much rather do my 2 minutes on the VersaClimber before getting iced, thankyouverymuch!! Today I got a heat pack instead of the usual ice packs, and it helped. Next week they're moving me from the initial hydrobed therapy straight to the e-stim and heat, and then the usual work. Yay. Oh yeah - the e-stim and heat relaxed my muscles enough that I went back to bug the chiropractor to check to see if I had a rib out on my left side. He felt around, said he didn't feel anything, then got me into position for a reset. Sure enough, I had one out on my left side, which is unusual for me. Ribs 2-3 on my right side have gone in and out so many times over the years (aggravated by repetitive motions like housework or filing or breathing) that I think I may have popped them back in this morning on my own. Yeah, deffo getting that Vicodin (aka hydrocodone/APAP) now.

Use the right kind of protection.

This art "has been commended as being strongly
vaginal, which bothers some men. The word itself
makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina."
(Maude Lebowski) 

Yesterday I went back to the local Apple store with the replacement iPad, which was also wonky in the same way (dropping wifi every few minutes). The store is in a mall and this year's Canstruction is in full swing. Some of it is nice. Some of it is great. One art was so Lebowskian that I had to snap a pic.

Frustrated 3rd techie to work with me/it that day walked off after 15 minutes trying things. He then brought me another new one. All replacements have been iPad1, 32 GB with wifi since that's what I had. He suggested WPA / WPA2 personal instead of WEP security, and I'm like duh. (Turns out he has hacker friends who could hack into WPA-protection in an hour but can hack into WEP in 10 minutes, and hackers like quick and easy so there you go. I giggled to myself since the canned vagina was still in my mind and he was talking about protection. Insert your own joke here.)

He advised to set this iPad up from scratch as a new device instead of restoring from backup. If it doesn't work, I should call the router people. Even though there's only 4 wireless connections at the most at any given time. Even though several others haven't had problems connecting, that I know of, anyway. He also suggested someone may have hacked in and is using my line and bumping a device off, so to check number of devices the router can handle. Besides having WPA2 personal security in the first place, most of the time only the desktop and Wii for Netflix are using the wireless connection, aside from the occasional iPad attempts. I use my iPhone on the home wireless when I remember to take it off 3G, and I have it set to 3G because I don't trust public wifi.

iPad with full bars and no connection.
Every 5 to 20 minutes. ANNOYING.
Oh, and this is the article I mentioned
yesterday. Please think before you pink.

I haven't surfed on iPad 1.3 too much, but so far I have 2 screenshots of THE SAME THING HAPPENING. I haven't even connected it to my computer at all and haven't downloaded any apps from the app store app, so it does appear to be a straight iPad issue. I'm currently looking for router info, and I found a page that actually addresses iPad wireless connection with the home Buffalo AirStation router since the router is AOSS-equipped. Yay! Except for one small detail. The page is in Japanese. I don't know Japanese. Can't read it, can't speak it. At all. Aside from "arigato" and "domo" and "sushi" and "sashimi" and "Genki-kun."

Grr. Arggh.

Thanks to Google translation magic, it looks like they're compatible and that I need to input the router info manually. Which I have done. Many many many many times over. I'll deal with this later though, as I am declaring it to be naptime. We FINALLY have rain going on, for the first time in 5,000 years. We'll still be in a drought for 9 million more years, but at least this is something.

Interconnectivity

Today was a lazy day and the iPad is still giving me agita, but not as often as it was. I just set it to a static IP address that will hopefully work, and will test connectivity during Fringe tonight. I reallly really really don't want to bring it back and go through the whole thing with a new one again.

A few days ago on Facebook, I shared some info about pinkwashing. Today in my Facebook feed, I saw a link to an article about it in the Dallas Morning News paired with these comments from the article's author: "An interesting Facebook note: The way I got this story is that one of y'all -- damned if I can remember who -- posted a link on FB to the Think Before You Pink folks and their objections to Promise Me. I thought that it was interesting enough to pursue -- and journalism ensued."

Think Before You Pink.

I left this comment: "It might've been me, since the info is on my wall from a few days ago. I'm really tired of all of the pinkwashing, and as a triple negative breast cancer survivor, them knowingly pushing a toxic product pisses me off. Especially as people going through treatment need to stay away from anyone wearing perfume or cologne, which one would think the folks at Komen should know. One of the directors I interviewed with there 6 years ago had the same type of breast cancer I did, so I'm pretty sure she knows. Thanks for bringing awareness of this to everyone."

It's a small world after all.

I mentioned this on my wall, right after mentioning some exciting related news. It's not every day that one of your childhood friends gets quoted in Reuters. I learned about this from one of her relatives, who I hope isn't having to deal with the protesters occupying Wall Street. I'd have to drive past protesters every week for quite a while when I worked for the local Catholic diocese some years ago. This was when the priest shuffling and sex abuse issues went nationwide. Back then, I wished things were handled differently, but I loved my job and what I did to help people. I'd mentioned to him how weird it was for me to see the different viewpoints in the media, anyway. Those who know me well know where I stand on these things, and btw I added a Zeitgeist category to my Pinterest earlier today. You're welcome.

Well then.

Bringing my iPad1 to the Genius Bar at a local Apple store was a nice experience. The whole Apple Store experience is great, with the minimalist zen design, many friendly staff, customer-oriented service, etc. I showed a guy screenshots I took of my being fully connected to home wifi and not being able to connect to the internet via friendly auto-message from Safari saying it couldn't connect to the internet. I explained to him how I'd tried everything, reset the router, got a new router, redid security settings, blah, how everything else on the home network worked just great, blah, and he ended up replacing it with a new iPad1. Score!

But. *sigh*

I found myself a bit worried when syncing the new iPad with my iTunes backup, since it had the same "not charging" in the upper right corner. There's been no problems with charging at all so I've figured it should've said "now charging" instead. I guess. Anyway, iTunes told me that this iPad had been synced with another iTunes library before and did I want to back up from my backup? My brow furrowed while I thought, "Great, I wonder if this had or has the same issues as the last one." Sure enough....

Looking online again, scouring more Apple forums and support boards, I came across some poor sod who went through this 9 times. With 9 different iPads. Holy. Crap. I did see a suggestion that I'd not tried, so I'm trying it now and hoping for the best. I'll go back to surfing on it for a bit before going back to the Apple store and hitting up Genius Bar Guy again, but it'll be trippy if turning the auto-brightness to off is what fixes the dropping wifi issue. Really, HUH??? (but it was an official Apple suggestion, so I'm trying it)

In other news, my chiropractor wants to see me again in 5 days (on Tuesday) because my neck is so jacked. My SCMs on both sides are practically bulletproof, they're so tight. The usual Active Release Technique treatments helped, but only a little, so I got sent to the e-stim machine again. (For the third visit in a row.) After 3 different guys worked on me. For about 30 minutes total. My throat feels way swollen but I think it's half due to the muscle tightness, half due to allergy drainage. If this sounds like fun to you, I want to know what drugs you're on, because this sucks. Hubby has developed visible allergy bumps on the inside of his eyelid again, and this hasn't happened in a few years so the allergy misery is being shared by many others here, I'm sure. The orange level ozone alert days don't help either, and of course the chemical plant that blew up this week 40 miles from home isn't helping either.

Steve Jobs, 1955-2011

Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend and an inspiring mentor. Steve leaves behind a company that only he could have built, and his spirit will forever be the foundation of Apple. (apple.com/stevejobs)

I and several of my friends found out about his passing via notice on our iPhones. (Naturally.) As a cancer survivor who last year lost a cancer buddy to the same thing Jobs had, it amazed me how most of the media consistently misreported the nature of his cancer. Pancreatic cancer is way different than a neuroendocrine tumor in/on the pancreas*. Cancer is so different in each individual regardless of type, and even people with the same type have varied experiences. You'd think the media would do some quick research and get things right but I guess they've gone from fact-checking journalists to being honey badger. Honey badger don't give a shit.

My first computer was an Apple II+ and I loved it. Back then, my dad would take me with him when he visited one of his friends across town. They were total Mac geeks. Dad's friend had a Lisa and I remember thinking it looked really cool compared to what I had. I smile when thinking about the total RAM of the Apple II+ maxing out at 64 kB. Heh, how things have changed over the last 30 years.

It's nice to see non-Apple fans and Apple haters giving props to Mr. Jobs. Words like "visionary" and "inspired" and "revolutionary" keep appearing on all sides. My Facebook and Google+ feeds are blowing up with friends sharing the news. Out of all of the remarks and remembrances I've read, the most poignant sentiments are perfectly captured here:

Steve Jobs was an amazing human being, and his passing will be mourned by millions. Though I was only seven years old and not aware when John Lennon died, I think I now know what that could have felt like. (Kevin Lowe)

Just one more thing? Weirdly Steve Jobs passing reminds me most of the death of Jim Henson. Two men with transformational vision. I fear Apple without Jobs will be too much like the Muppets without Henson. (Jeffrey Weiss)

I'm kinda dreading going to a local Apple store tomorrow but am also wondering how bummed out the grunt workers are. The iPad I acquired through eBay has been dropping wifi for the last month or maybe two, I dunno. I'm finally tired of resetting the network every 5 minutes so reserved my space/time at the Genius bar for tomorrow, about 20 minutes after the end of an appointment happening down the street. (I did this about an hour before the news broke. Great timing.) From what I gathered online, this 32 GB wifi + 3G 1st gen tablet caused a lot of people to be upset from the same issue back in April 2010, so maybe I'll get a replacement. I have the AppleCare Protection Plan so I shouldn't be out anything, whatever happens.

Here's to Steve Jobs and everyone doing their best to make this world a better place. I close with a final thought from the man himself, from his commencement address at Stanford University in June 2005**.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. (Steve Jobs)

* http://www.npr.org/2011/08/25/139942326/with-a-spotlight-on-jobs-time-to-talk-about-cancer?ps=rs

** http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

And now.... for something completely whatever.

I'm making progress with figuring out what I want my online presence to look like. Ideally I'd love something simple, elegant, and easily managed since I'm spread across social media. Sorta. My Tumblr is dead to me and my Twitter is mostly filled with Foursquare bleats, although I'd love to get back to tweeting soon. (It's only been a year or so.) Facebook is a constant and I'm on Google Plus and LinkedIn as well. I'm trying to not spend a ton of time on Pinterest, too. I've decided to go with having a main website for consolidation and random whatnot, using the various services for various things. I'll likely go with 500px for portfolio stuff but may still use Picasa / Google Photos for photo album stuff to share. Still thinking on that though.

She loves technology, always and forever.

On Facebook, I'm rocking the bald look from chemo in 2004 to raise awareness of pinkwashing since it's Breast Cancer Season month. I've already had one person ask for my skull when I'm done with it, but hubby already has dibs since he actually uses skulls and other bones for studies. He's gotten amazingly awesome with his drawing skills over the last few years. I also wrote a haiku about a vacuum cleaner for one of my friends. I love writing haiku about odd things and for no reason whatsoever. I love life. *whisper* I love lamp.

This also reminds me of some poetry I wrote back in high school days as a transition during humorous interpretations at drama competitions. I still remember it since I memorized it so well. :)

Ode to a Piece of Gum

Oh, to be a piece of gum on the floor...
People trample on me and say nothing more
Than what I do say, which is nothing at all.
To be a piece of gum in the hall
Of a high school would be such a horrible mess.
I'd hear whispers and gossip as shiny shoes press
On and step on and smear me to kingdom come.
So this is what life is for pieces of gum -
To be used and abused after once being used,
And to end up on shoes being nastily crude.

*takes bow*

Alive and mostly well

It's been a long time since I've posted anything, but my life has been a bit wonky. I've been spending a stupid crazy amount of time each day networking and reading up on photography this-and-that, while kind of tidying the homestead, while preparing more meals from scratch. The meal prep has been fun (my husband discovered he likes cauliflower as well as broccoli - woah!) but the tidying.... eh, kinda weak. I've also been organizing files on a new computer but it's going sloowwwwly on account of brutally hacking through photos I don't need to keep. I only have 13,020 left to weed through.

A nice thing about having this time to catch up with life things is that it might make good book fodder. I've noticed that my last few jobs have involved working during a time when whatever organization was transitioning through 40 years of whatever. I'm currently almost 38, I'm in this transition mush with wanting to do photography full time somehow, and I'm reading a great book about the two halves of life. With experiencing the 40ish year transition personally now, I think writing a perspectives book would be neat. If only I could fast-forward through this chrysalis gunky not-quite-gelled part.... :)

I have a book of poetry ready to be published but some of the poems really really suck since they were written forever ago. Gotta go through that again. I also need to go through two books I started writing years ago and continue with those. Plus write more for another book I have in mind. Plus help someone with a screenplay. Plus figure out where I'm headed in life, which is not so bad since I'm giving myself till 40 to get that done.

I need a 52 hour day every day.

Life Changes

Gah. Life is changing rapidly but I need to recharge by doing nothing for a long, long while first. Long story short, I will be focusing on recovering health and wellness starting sometime next week, with other people taking over what I do at my workplace. I'll have to deal with paperwork to get on my husband's insurance, but oh well.

The timing really sucks too because I've gotten some seriously mad props for my awesome work and for going above and beyond what I'm supposed to do, and that letter is definitely frameable. I heard that the executive director sent copies to The Board of the workplace, which amazed me, and I was asked to pass along props from my program manager to send out as well, because "the feds never say anything nice about anyone!"

Hopefully when I get back to tip-top shape I can go back and do more helpful stuff in one of various areas (research, healthcare, disaster preparedness), but I've got many many plans for the long-term interim. Like cleaning my home and finally getting everything in order (fully moving in after 5+ years). Like photography. Like small business work. Like pimping my husband's mad art skills. Like working on my posture and getting into shape. Like having more fun and traveling a bit. Like staying zen more constantly.

I can't wait. :)

Preaching by example

I self-identify as a pantheist and a skeptic. I am totally awed by nature as evidence of scientific divinity. I'm wary of well-meaning religious people who have little or no sense of what they really believe. I was baptized Catholic, raised Protestant (non-denominational, Assemblies of God, Latter Rain, back to non-denominational), attended and graduated from a university owned by the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, went through RCIA for full Catholic standing, and worked in a Roman Catholic diocesan liturgy office for 5 years. I've received attunements in both Reiki and Integrated Energy Therapy, I can do the math to cast an actual birth chart (sun-sign only horoscopes be damned), and I can read and interpret both natal charts and tarot cards, though I haven't in some time. I've spent time on the forums at the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) website and have very much enjoyed the debunking done re: vaccines, homeopathy, etc.

My family and friends have enriched my life by their varying faiths (primarily Buddhist, Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Jehovah's Witness, Methodist, Baptist, Jewish, Baha'i, Pagan, New Age, Unity).  A number of my friends have enriched my life by their non-faith and critical thinking and love of science and the scientific method.  My husband is an atheist / secular humanist skeptic who has extensively studied comparative religion and who lives by Wakan Tanka.

The following part of a conversation on Facebook will probably be incorporated into an article or book, somehow.  Will work on that another time, when life slows down to a shade below crazy pace.

--

KHW: For all my theologian friends: Is the phrase "live like you're dying" theologically sound? Part of me thinks not mainly because of Christ's comment regarding abundant life. I don't have an answer.

Me:  Theologically (from what I've learned via osmosis, anyway), Christ was fully divine yet fully human. I would assume that while Christ was alive on this earth, he had intimate access to the fullness of the rest of himself (God the Father, God the Holy Spirit), especially with the words he speaks in John 14.

Christ also knew on whatever level that he would have to eventually physically die an unnatural death, and at the end of that chapter it seems clear that he knew it would occur relatively soon. The "live like you're dying" would apply to Christ's human nature, like it would apply to all of us.

From my cancer survivor perspective, living as if every day could be the last is something I'd like to see more people doing. As odd as it sounds, this "living like I'm dying" leads to my having "abundant life." There's little to no time for petty arguments, or things that are really not a big deal in the scheme of things. Everything that I have as a priority is so much more important now because of the awareness of "wow, I really do have an expiration date, so definitely need to make the most of life while I'm here."

Sometimes it takes the experience of a serious health condition or a death for a person to "get it" and I view the crucifixion as the supreme example of this for us, for understanding that we're here for a short time to make this world a better place (to me, literally bringing about heaven on earth as much as possible). Christ lived with that knowledge of having a physical expiration date, and I see that as why he urgently wanted/wants people to spread the gospel. To me, the gospel (good news) is that abundant life is available to all of us, if we just crucify the things in our lives that seem important but aren't really, and work together to manifest the Kingdom here while we're alive.