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| I make the best boob cake. For reals. Just ask my husband. |
(FYI - boob cake is best when it's red velvet with whipped buttercream icing. Also, it's fun to see the expression on the faces of people during the eating process.)
Naturally, I've been going back and forth for years about how to best get everything down. I know that I want to make it relatable for patients, caregivers, and families with easy-to-understand medical jargon. I also want to make it clinical enough to educate medical professionals and researchers from a patient's point of view. I originally thought that I'd just publish the blog I wrote for a few years through everything, but then I thought about publishing more of a narrative story kinda chickeny soupy like, and then I thought doing both at once could bring in more fundage and move me to New Mexico more quickly.
Long story short, I have a better grasp of what I want to include (stuff like autoimmune crap and prescription roulette and caregiver burnout and worries about income and employment along with surprise breast cancer at age 30), but I'd love to get some feedback about the styling. I've asked this already, years ago, but I'm asking again since I know lots more people now, I'm back to indecision, and I want to use my time this year as effectively as possible.
So:
Narrative, Blog (edit: without so many exclamation marks and with lots more cutting to a decent size), or Both?
Examples below. Tell me via comment for this entry on my Facebook page (facebook.com/lindasbecker). Thanks in advance.
NARRATIVE:
July 2004 saw me getting back into a semi-normal life routine of never-ending visits to physicians. Dr. Onco (my oncologist) thrilled me by being so excited about my hair growing back! There wasn't much, but I definitely had an externally fuzzy head. The internal thought fuzziness still lingered but at least I got cuter.
He again suggested that I look into genetic counseling, since the BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 genes are often found in people who have the type of cancer I had, and I promised that I would look into it. I also decided to look up the gynecologist who did my laparoscopy in 1998 as Dr. Onco thought my increasing pelvic pain was likely due to endometriosis acting up again. I really didn't want to deal with it and I wish I could've stayed in faux menopause, but there was no way I'd go through chemo again just for that sweet relief.
My visit to Dr. Gyno frustrated me so much that I fired him (without telling him so). The options he gave me were to do hormones (nixed due to the breast cancer), get pregnant (no way in hell), or have another surgery, and so the approach was to wait and see. I liked Dr. Gyno and I understood his perspective since nothing abnormal showed up on any of the tests he did, but at the time I wanted good options and I wanted them right then. I did not want to wait until September for a reevaluation. Having pain in the exact same spot for seven years got more than frustrating every so often, and the visit was on one of those days.
You know what really sucked most of all? Getting the pelvic exam done by a guy gynecologist. Sorry but not having the same parts as the parts being examined makes a significant difference in post-procedure ouchiness.
BLOG:
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Good news – I saw my oncologist yesterday and not only was he very happy that my hair is coming in super-duper fast (!), but both the CT scan and MRI were clear! He did poke and prod me though, and after all was said and done, he feels that my pelvic pain is the endometriosis still, which seems the most likely explanation but would be odd since I’m still in menopause, and endo is supposed to go away at menopause. Since the pain has varied from day to day, week to week, and has felt different (from sharp and stabbing to cramping to dull and toothachy, and back, etc.), he reminded me that my hormones and body chemistry are still out of whack from the chemo, and suggested that I get checked out by a gyno soon since I didn’t need to be in this sort of pain. I’m probably going to look up the gyno who did my endo surgery some years ago, as he’d have my records from then anyway. Perhaps it’s just adhesions everywhere. He also suggested genetic counseling again (to see my risk of ovarian cancer since it’s related to breast cancer), so I need to find that paperwork and get that done.
Otherwise, things are good. I still have sharp shooting pains where the tumor was, I’m peeling where the radiation has tanned me, and the skin is kinda itchy there but it’s not terribly bad. I see my oncologist again in four months, and he also said yesterday that I might start to start feeling better energy-wise in six months!
--
Monday, July
19, 2004
This morning I saw the gyno who did my laparoscopy
in 1998. After the usual "well woman" tests and a sonogram, I found
that I don't have any cysts or anything, my ovaries and the rest of my junk
looks normal, and I could still have endo or maybe not - it's too fine to show
up on the sonogram. The current advice, again, is to "wait and see."
This doesn't sit well with me, as I've had this pelvic pain in the exact same
damn location for, oh, *looks at watch* SEVEN YEARS NOW. Dammit.
I have three treatment choices to choose from. One - hormones. They took me off
the pill due to the breast cancer, so scratch that. Two - pregnancy. Yeah,
right. This doc knows that we're not going to start a family intentionally, so
that's out too. (Besides, he told me in 1998 that I should try to get preggers within
a year or two, as I may not be able to in five, and it's past five years now.)
Three - surgery. He's not keen on another surgery, but we'll reevaluate in late
September. Grrmph.
I'm also looking into any other possible explanation for the pelvic pain, since
I haven't menstruated since January. A hernia? Osteitis? I don't know!!!! I do
apparently have a yeast infection, although I'm not experiencing any burning or
itching, so I have a week of treatment with plungery stuff. I'm thinking that
it might be due to either the spermicide, the antibiotics I took recently, or
maybe an increased cereal intake (candida supposedly thrives on breads, so
maybe grains too?). At any rate, that's just one more thing I didn't need to
deal with.
--
Tuesday, July
27, 2004
The pelvic pain has seemed to have gotten better
lately, which I'm thankful for. I was *really* hurting the day after the recent
exam, probably because a guy gyno did everything (no offense but you guys don't
have the mechanics we do, especially down there). Everything turned out well
overall, and my overall skin exam with another new doctor (dermatologist) went fine
too! I just have benign stuff going on there - on my statement I've been given
three different codes under "diagnosis" for 1) angiokeratoma, nevus
site unsp., 2) hemangioma and 3) dermatoheliosis. The aged skin I apparently
have isn't from laying out in the sun, so I think it's probably from the
floreluminescenty lighting at all of my workplaces over the years. Crap. At
least I still look like I'm questionably 21, since I got CARDED last Wednesday!
What's funny is that my radiologist goes to the same dermatologist I'm now
going to. I see him in the morning for a checkup, and I'm sure that'll go
smoothly. The affected boob is doing just fine although my nice tan from the
radiation is going away. I'm still feeling some shooting pains there from time
to time, where the tumor was, but it's nothing a Darvocet can't handle.
My hair is growing back still and is now long enough for me to have bedhead!
I'm also now published, kinda - Planet Cancer posted my breast cancer haiku on
their insights page. Nifty!
