Thoughts and prayers and kindness, oh my.

“When in doubt, give.” – Bjork, Medulla, Pleasure Is All Mine

A ton of people have been through the wringer this week. In addition to friends dealing with surprise cancer and other health issues and friends dealing with the loss of pets/fur kids who’ve been part of their family for forever, major goings on have been the bombings at the Boston Marathon on Monday, a fertilizer plant exploding in West, TX on Wednesday, and anniversaries of events at Waco and Oklahoma City yesterday. It’s been amazing to see communities pull together on local to national scales, and I’m glad for the progress made over the years with disaster preparedness everywhere, but I’m a little baffled by some of the things I observe. More on that in a minute. 

Congress also pissed a hella lotta people off with an epic fail on curbing gun violence. It’s bad enough that we have sporadic mass casualty incidents, but when (allegedly) 90% of Americans are for better background checking and measures called for aren’t put in place to enhance public safety, that’s just redamndiculous. It’s also really sad to see journalistic integrity degraded to such an extent that the speed of getting news out has trumped information accuracy. There wouldn’t be a need to backpedal on reported news after 20 minutes or so if things had been reported correctly the first time, even if the report is, “I don’t know; we’ll keep you posted.” (AP and CNN, you’re on notice.) It’s expected out of social media reporting, and thank the stars for social media helping with accuracy and telling people how to best help whatever situation, but non-professionals doing a better job than professionals at reporting makes me cringe.

Werd.

So thanks to events this week, bugging me yet again is the whole “Prayer: Why?” thing. I see people sharing biblical scriptures and prayer things posted in between people yelling at others to do something useful instead of praying, like helping in a tangible manner with money or blood. Both perspectives irk me, to different degrees. One makes me think, “But what about the people who aren’t able to help financially or in person? Guilt tripping others doesn’t help and makes you look like an ass, ass.” The other doesn't upset me but does make me occasionally think, “What, there’s only one approved way to pray and that has to be your way? Expand your understanding of your God already. There are other faiths besides Christianity.”

I'd posted some general supportive sentiments to my Facebook wall, and was thanked by a friend for the "kind, simple, beautiful words." Another friend commented, "It's knowing, everything is going through something, so please be kind... that's really important." (Thanks Lou and Kitty, and Sandy for the image!) I think a lot of people have good intentions with saying things to help people help others, and I don't think the proportions of each view are any different than usual, but how people are trying to express kindness is irking me more lately. It's probably more of a perceptual problem on my part, since I've been having a hard time with properly relaxing and decompressing lately (there is not enough time in the day for everything I need to do!, and I want to cry and kung fu the air just because of computer issues). It's also probably my going back into menopause (oh how I wish perimenopause was as quick as the chemo-pause I had!), but the irkiness has gone on long enough for me to mention it via blog. (And seriously, after a ton of other wonkiness, my computer tried to install a video card driver through Microsoft Word, so I think I have a legit reason to be a bit agitated. At least I have sound again, though there's a cavernous echo on everything now.)

Personally, I’m glad to see people helping however possible. I try to always mention sharing both thoughts and prayers, for people in both camps, because I feel that both are important. The jury is still out for some on whether or not thinking / praying / positive energy sent wherever actually makes a difference, but I’d rather err on the side of generosity, since if nothing good really happens there’s still no harm, no foul. Besides, as long as there is a noble intent with helping others, at least the person thinking / praying feels better and regains some peace, whether or not the person is able to help in any other way, and what’s wrong with regaining inner peace? And besides, if something good actually happens via positive energy going out, there’s no shortage of people / places / things that need positive energy, so I’d think it’d go to wherever zen is most needed, whether by a science of energy transfer that hasn’t been documented yet or whether by direction of the universe (same thing, in my opinion). Your mileage may vary.

By the way, for anyone concerned, this is not a slam against skeptics, atheists, agnostics, etc. I’m skeptical enough to know the uselessness potential, but I’m also open-minded enough to see the potential possibilities. My point is, whatever you believe or don’t believe, don’t be a dick. Be a good human, help however you can, and encourage others to help in various ways without making them feel like shit. That’s all. Seriously, that's all. Don't read anything more complex into this besides "don't be a dick."

For what it's worth, I know it’s really easy to wish someone else well without attaching any kind of religion to it. I do that all the time and don’t consider that to be prayer, but some people do. Someone please remind me to do a sermon someday on the different types of prayer. The self-serving prayers piss me off. The overly formal and structured can annoy me, depending on context and environment. The needy prayers can go either way – praying “I want I want I want” like a spoiled brat is way different than praying “please don’t let my feet forget how to walk because I don’t want to fall down the stairs and bust my head open from motor skills wonkiness.” There’s also prayers via song, dance, etc., and burning candles should always be done safely under supervision. (Also, no burning of cheap-ass candles made in China, okay? You don’t want that crap in your air. If your prayers are valuable to you, buy better candles. Your lungs and your deity will thank you.) Oh, and prayers for smiting and vengeance and harm to others make me squirm…

Oh, and speaking of, thoughts, prayers, Reiki, fwaps, chicken sacrifices, etc., are most welcomed for the death and rebirth of my computer, if any of those are your thing. Thanks.