So many great things happening!!!

These are my flavors of interesting. Click to embiggen.

So many great things are happening, with meeting new people on Facebook and at the huge new AT&T store (more on that later) and having great phone interviews leading to in-person job interviewing for two hours later this week!! I figured I'd make one of these to illustrate myself to people getting to know me outside of random online jibba-jibba, whether they've known me for 20+ years or 2 days. It sums things up very nicely, really.

See, I'm very ottery and smiley and happy, as far as everyone who sees me is concerned. I also look way younger than I actually am (I'm turning 39 in a few months but apparently still look 28-32), so used the perfect young asian otter image from Das Otterhaus even though I'd be a North American River Otter (NARO) if I was an otter. However, on the inside I have the huge-eyed stare of a tarsier because I'm adjusting to new meds, amazed at the stupidity I see expressed on the internet, playing Sims 3 for 5 hours straight, etc.

I'd love to spend most of my days doing wildlife and nature photography (ideally for National Geographic, with incredible shots like Bruce Dale does there) and getting deep tissue massages, but I have to worry from hour to hour on what I'm able to do on any given day since I tend to overdo things when I'm feeling back to my old normal. I'm doing way better with pacing myself still and knowing my limits (the newish normal I've found after the Sjogren's Syndrome diagnosis), but the new meds have been helping me to feel outstanding when I'm awake, and I'm awake for entire days again, and this makes me SOHAPPYOMGCANYOUBELIEVETHIS?!?? (Side note: the Cymbalta withdrawal brain zaps are much better but today I'm dizzy and puky-feeling and need to crash because of crappy sleep from a 30 degree temperature drop. Also, sleep has sucked for the last two nights due to having to take down my blackout curtains due to some weak plaster and a wonky outlet breaker issue. Long stories. Don't ask.) Oh, and the pain cycle image is from this very well written page.

My typical attitude is me feeling all wise and awesome like an elephant while being enveloped by a non-normal living environment (health crap) yet trudging along as best as I can anyway. If the elephant in the photo can have fun daily swims, dammit, I can too, figuratively speaking. Or something. Crap it's almost 3pm and I need to eat lunch. (See? Overdoing it again, but stopping soon, really. Woo, tangent.) My ideal future for years has been opening up a fine art shop in New Mexico for selling my photography and hubby's art, but now it's grown more specific with wanting to do that plus farm Chimayo chiles in Chimayo (those chiles are so amazing, you guys, like omg, you guys). Having a little cafe there too would be pretty spiffy, since my brother-in-law has this chili spice blend that's incredible, and I need me more of that and more green Chimayo chile powder for cooking (it's seasonal and the Rancho de Chimayo is out of stock, per their website).

So. There it is. I'mma eat a really late lunch now then crash for a bit, and then organize music, and then come home and figure out more of how to work my new Samsung Galaxy Note, and then and then and then... Oh, Claude (my old iPhone 3GS, named after Claude Debussy) is death rattling very constantly now, with buzzing like the sound off/on switch is being flipped but with no one touching it and me staring at it from across a room. It's disconcerting. I need to put some of the contacts in Audrey (my new phone, named after Audrey Kawasaki) and download some apps and more, but not right now.

OH - and I had the best day yesterday with meeting up with an old friend, and eating freaking incredible food (both the ravioli and Guinness ice cream were like ambrosia, y'all), and visiting cute local shops, and basking while inhaling the smells of an old bookstore, and okay I'm really going now, damn.

Wheeeeeee!!!!

Well, turns out the stuff I'd mentioned to the asshat at AT&T *was* in the terms and conditions, and when I talked with someone else about it last week, I was surprised to hear that my iPad was still using the 3G. Whaaa? Long story short, I would've had to pay for the use anyway since the cellular data setting was still on, even though I'd cancelled my plan. I'm pretty sure I reset that to be on accidentally when I was checking to make sure it was still cancelled way back when. Or something. I dunno.

My thumb is way better and is still a little sore in a tiny area but that's okay since there's two additional layers of skin there now. The cancer recurrence scare I've been going through (did I even mention that? Not gonna bother to look back through the blog due to brain zaps) is basically over, since both a ductogram and Aurora breast MRI were negative. My endo's been feeling worse so I'm going to try Zoladex, which is kinda like Lupron but not, and it's supposed to help me be pelvic pain free for two years after being in six months of menopause. We're currently waiting to see if insurance will cover it, and I'm hoping my part will be affordable assuming it's covered. My surgeon's wife said, "Good luck with that!" when I filled her in this afternoon, due to the lovely insanity we had not long ago. She was also thrilled that I thought of her when noticing more discharge today. Yeah, I've been kinda preoccupied with a lot of things.

There's a lot more that's been going on, notably thinking logistically through my new grand plan to live in Chimayo, NM and be a chile farmer in six years (yes really), but I'm not going into any of that or into any of six other things because of brain zapping. See, I went from 60 mg of Cymbalta straight to 25 mg of Savella last week, and whoo boy it's NOT been fun. It is NOWHERE near as bad as when Effexor stopped working for me some years ago, but it's definitely not fun. I'm feeling really awful that I've asked for more hours at my part-time job but I haven't been able to make it in this week so far. :(

Yesterday I tried to make it to the new huge AT&T Mobility store so I could check out and probably get a white Samsung Galaxy Note. I also tried to make it to Target for getting Great Home Stuff (tm) (funny story re: the GHS that I won't get into here), then tried to make it to Kroger. I failed miserably on all counts. I had wanted to go across town to World Market and to Sprouts, but those are like 20 minutes away and I settled for driving just 2-3 miles away to everywhere else. I hadn't even reached the first place when I felt awfully dizzy, nauseated, clammy, and blugh, so stopped at McDeath for a double cheeseburger on the off-chance that I needed more fuel. (I'd only had pan-roasted carrots and a bell pepper for lunch.) I still felt pretty awful so I drove home instead of stopping anywhere I'd intended to go. That 10 minute drive felt like for-e-ver too. And then I crashed. At 5:30 pm. And was awakened to take evening meds just after 9pm, and then couldn't get back to sleep until 7:30 am, then woke at about 9:30 am, and such as. I made it to 8pm before crashing the other night (and sleeping through until Magic Morning Oatmeal Time at 6:15 am), and my sleep schedule has been off again from the med adjustment, but I am physically feeling better aside from the withdrawal crap so I guess that's something.

Today I actually made it to Target but hung on to the shopping cart for dear life for nearly two hours while going around the store very slowly. Out of the 15 things on my list of things to get, I totally skipped two intentionally because I was taking too freaking long.

*insert 10-12 minutes of spacing out at my computer desk just now*

Oh yeah, brain zaps. (Will maybe talk about other stuff another time, as if anyone wants to hear my reasonings for farming chile in Chimayo or about the two kilos of copper bullion I got from my fatherland of Pennsylvania.) The zaps are from Cymbalta withdrawals, and I'm thankful that they're nowhere near as bad as Effexor withdrawals but GAH they totally suck. I am feeling noticeably better on the Savella though, and have stopped taking both my Benadryl for sleepytime and half my tramadol for pain. And it's been ungodly swampy humid lately, so I should've been hurting way more than I have been. Woot! But these zaps... oy. I can deal with the headaches and sweatiness, but the nausea is blech and the dizziness is annoying and these zaps are just amazingly disconcerting.

Best description I've seen on the interweb:

“Brain zaps” are said to defy description for whomever has not experienced them, but the most common themes are of a sudden “jolt,” likened to an electric shock, apparently occurring or originating within the brain itself, with associated disorientation for a few seconds. The phenomenon is most often reported as a brief, wave-like electrical pulse that quickly travels across the surface of (or through) the brain. Some people experience these “waves” through the rest of their body, but the sensation dissipates quickly. They are sometimes accompanied by brief tinnitus and vertigo like feelings. Immediately following this shock is a light-headedness that may last for up to ten seconds. The sensation has also be described by many as a flashbulb going off inside the head or brain. Moving one’s eyes from side to side quickly while open has also been known to trigger these zaps and sometimes causing them to come in rapid succession. It is thought to be a form of neuro-epileptiform activity.

As withdrawal time increases, the frequency of the shocks decreases. At their peak, brain zaps have been associated with severe headaches. They may last for a period of several weeks after the last dose and usually resolve completely within a month or two. However, anecdotal reports of “zaps” during a protracted withdrawal are known to last a year or longer.

And on that note, I'm off to dream of otters and holding a Galaxy Note in hand before ordering one.

Yay, more incompetence!

[Warning: bloody photo ahead after the AT&T stuff, so if you don't want to scroll after the long story short, just know I'm doing well after a minor kitchen accident. I could use some ice cream though.]

I am so pissed. I talked with a great lady at AT&T to verify that the former home phone number, which is now a wireless number, is set to be an additional line in my FamilyTalk plan instead of as an individual line due to incompetent setup last month. It's flipping at the next bill cycle and all charge adjustments have been made, so wicked cool.

Then I talked with a total asshat about this lovely email I received upon cancelling my iPad data plan. I'd cancelled service within the two hours specified in another email notifying me of the autorenewal, but was charged anyway after it stuck as "pending" in my bank account for five days. He unsincerely apologized at the beginning of each of his new conversational tidbits, and mentioned blah blah cancelling within 15 days. I asked where this was in writing and he smugly pointed to the terms and conditions. Fine. This wasn't even f'ing available on the AT&T site from any of the menu options for everything! (I couldn't find it, anyway.) After 10 minutes of frustration, I goo-searched "ipad data plan terms and conditions att" and found the wireless data services agreement two links down.

I need to call back and get someone else to talk with, because it clearly states that what I was trying to do was kosher.

IF YOU SELECT A DOMESTIC 30 DAY SPECIFIED DEVICE PLAN, THE PLAN WILL AUTOMATICALLY RENEW EVERY 30 DAYS, AND YOU AUTHORIZE US TO CHARGE YOUR CREDIT OR DEBIT CARD OR YOUR WIRELESS BILL FOR YOUR INITIAL AND ANY SUBSEQUENT SPECIFIED DEVICE PLAN, UNLESS YOU CANCEL THE AUTOMATIC RENEWAL OF YOUR SERVICE. TO CANCEL AUTOMATIC RENEWAL, GO TO WWW.ATT.COM/BUYASESSION, LOG INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AND CANCEL AUTOMATIC RENEWAL PRIOR TO YOUR NEXT SCHEDULED PAYMENT TO AVOID BEING CHARGED. IN ORDER TO PROCESS YOUR AUTOMATIC RENEWAL IN A TIMELY FASHION AND ENSURE YOUR CONTINUED USE OF THE SERVICE, AT&T WILL CHARGE YOUR CREDIT CARD OR DEBIT CARD OR YOUR WIRELESS BILL FOR THE AUTOMATIC RENEWAL APPROXIMATELY TWO HOURS BEFORE YOUR NEW 30 DAY AUTOMATIC RENEWAL IS SET TO BEGIN. SHOULD YOU CANCEL AUTOMATIC RENEWAL AFTER WE HAVE CHARGED YOUR CARD OR YOUR WIRELESS BILL BUT BEFORE THE AUTOMATIC RENEWAL PERIOD IS SET TO BEGIN (E.G. WE CHARGED YOUR CREDIT CARD FOR THE RENEWAL AT 7 AM ET FOR A 9 AM ET AUTO RENEWAL AND YOU NOTIFIED US TO CANCEL THE AUTOMATIC RENEWAL AT 8 AM ET), PLEASE CONTACT AT&T CUSTOMER SERVICE TO PROCESS A CREDIT FOR THE AUTOMATIC RENEWAL.

Even though I cancelled within the two hour window and didn't select autorenew in the first place (it was apparently selected for me since I paid with credit card), I got nothing. As far as I'm concerned, the AT&T session based services idiot I spoke with can wipe my ass and eat a bag of dicks.

The real pisser was that he said I was charged for the whole next month because of 13 MB of data. I had switched the 3G off two weeks prior so know that wasn't me. I'm thinking software update or some crap, which naturally counts as data for the session based services plan, but that shouldn't even matter because I was within the two hour window! The only reason why I didn't cancel it when I switched it to wifi was moving craziness coupled with hella fun repetitive arguments with incompetent Shitna phone jockeys, jobbing, cancer scare crap (Aurora breast MRI and ductogram)... yeah, nothing big going on. (Yay for all the tests coming out negative, too.)

Speaking of wiping my ass, it's kinda hard to do that with my left hand as I'm right handed. See, I had a stupid onion slicing accident yesterday and took a trip to the local emergency department for not following Rule 1 of my mantra. (Rule 1: Don't be stupid. Rule 2: Be cheap like Amy.) (Amy was my matron of honor, among other friendshippy things, like encouraging hubby and I to get together before we'd even met each other.) I am now irritated at having to explain what happened to everyone I happen to talk with in person.

Long story short, 1) I'm sticking with knives for food prep, 2) it's pathetic when a person in tears and obvious severe pain asks to be given a painkiller before taking off a paper towel stuck to a bloody mangled finger, and 3) it's absolutely sad when someone giving medical care comes across to said person as patronizing, cold, and uncaring, even while healing that person as much as possible.

This is what happened when the paper towel
with blood stuck to my mangled skin came off.
My thumb bled for at least two hours nonstop
and this was about an hour into the fun.
Be glad I didn't post any wound pics.

Short story medium, 1) when the safety widget on the mandoline doesn't hold a veggie properly, it is best to use a knife for the rest of slicing instead of using one's hand, 2) physician assistants working in an emergency department should act like dentists and make sure a body area is at least partway numb before jabbing a needle full of lidocaine in a body part (twice) before surgical suturing (stitches), especially when the patient has several chronic pain syndromes including fibro, which is a disease of glitches in pain processing. In normal people terms, the chronic pain was at about an 8.5, and the numbing (that kicked in five minutes after she knotted my stitchery) made the acute pain go from a 7 to a 3. The total pain went to 42 when she was jabbing me and doing the stitching (giving me only one stitch instead of two because everything hurt so much I almost broke hubby's hand and arm while screaming bloody murder). Oh, and 3) I have an amazing husband, even though he's not going to let me forget my idiocy for a long while. I still blame fibro fog for that.

There's lots more going on but I really need to not type more for a bit. Sigh.

Quote of the Day and life update

"... not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."  - William Bruce Cameron

This is usually attributed to my homeboy Albert Einstein, who apparently often said, "Many of the things you can count, don't count. Many of the things you can't count really count."

I like that. It sounds better when he says it, in my head.

In life news, we've moved but still haven't unpacked everything. I can't find any matching pairs of socks. I tried to not freak out too much while on the phone with SOMEONE COMPETENT at Cigna today. She confirmed that my Certificates of Creditable Coverage were on file and proceeded to kick three things back to Claims for processing. Hallefreakinglujah, especially since one was from, oh, LAST MAY. She was also not sure why I got a form for a physician re: seeing another physician during a certain time period, since the CCCs cover any pre-existing conditions. Incompetence. It's not what's for dinner or lunch today! *happy dance*

Claude (my iPhone, named after Claude Debussy) is senile. I'd love to play with a Samsung Galaxy Note in person since I love everything about it, but since I'm still jobbing, I may or may not get that soon. I'm also looking at less expensive Android phones like the Galaxy S II Skyrocket, wondering if I should wait and consider a Galaxy S III Skyrocket and/or iPhone 5, and fretting about Claude's power constantly draining at an alarming rate because the power button doesn't work. (I can't even snap photos 90% of the time.) I used to have a Samsung not-so-smart phone and it worked very well for me, so I'm looking forward to seeing what all they have out now. Okay, maybe I'll have to consider the HTC Titan 2, which isn't on AT&T's site at present, but OMG with the 16 MP camera plus second camera for chatting. I used to have a Windows Mobile phone 6 years ago (Cingular 8125) and loved it, so I might have to look at the WinMo7.5 now. Hope that OS has improved.

We had a friend (I'll call her Red Fraggle since I'm totally Mokey Fraggle) stay with us one recent weekend due to a sci fi expo in town. With 4 of the cast of Firefly there, uh, yeah. No brainer. I still need to go through my photos. I definitely need to learn how to knit so I can get in on some Jayne Hat action.

Oatmeal. Oatmeal is cool.

Today is National Oatmeal Month. I learned this by searching for the cooking time of rolled oats. I'm incredibly loving the texture of the rolled oats I got from the bulk aisle at Sprouts (99 cents a pound, y'all!), mixed with Kerrygold butter and pure dark maple syrup (Sprouts brand). OMG. OMG to the max. It didn't take much longer to cook than the quick oats - instead of cooking for one minute, I cooked them for like, three, about when the water evaporated. I used a cup of oats and a cup and a quarter of water since I knew I'd be cooking them longer. Total om nom nom nom more.

More links to oatmeal goodness:

Wiki on oats

You're Doing It Wrong: Granola

Warm Up With a Healthier Bowl of Oatmeal

Blueberry Banana Oat Bread

Ooh - National Oatmeal Monday is coming up!!
Oatmeal: True Comfort Food

I have a bag of award-winning Bob's Red Mill steel cut oats in our pantry and so can't wait to go all nom. I've had McCann's Irish Oatmeal (also steel cut oats) before but Bob's was $2.99 for 24 oz. at Sprouts (I heart Sprouts) so meh. Very seriously considering ordering from Bob's here.

And now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

Incidentally, my most favorite Sprockets clip is so disturbing, but it's so awesome. It features Kyle MacLachlan, for Einstein's beautiful and angular sake. Hubby and I watched "Dune" over the weekend, so I had to find this clip online. Now I am as happy as a little girl.

Size shouldn't matter.

Besides, it's not the length that matters, it's the girth and how you use it. Ahem.

If you don't already know about the awesomeness that is Nancy Upton, see:

Dallas Actress Nancy Upton's Creative Protest of American Apparel's Plus-Size Model Search 

exclusive: nancy upton takes on size, style, and american apparel

Personally, I believe that women are beautiful regardless of size. I'm easily frustrated because I can't work out like I used to on account of post exertional malaise from several illnesses, but I also believe that it's possible to be zaftig and fit.

Post Exertional Malaise Series

Can You Be Fat And Fit? More Health Experts Say Yes

Long rambling short, size shouldn't matter. Health should. 

Without further comment aside from IT'S ABOUT TIME!, see:

A victory for curvy ladies: Ann Summers' competition to find 'real woman' to front campaign is won by only plus-size finalist

'Most runway models meet the BMI criteria for anorexia', claims plus-size magazine in powerful comment on body image in the fashion industry 

OMG. O.M.F.G.

The movers are hauling our big stuff over to the new place in three days and we are not ready for that yet. Not fully. So much stuff.... so much crappy little stuff... aaaah!!!!!

Lots of incredibly annoying and very wonderful things have happened lately. Here's what I can think of to relate at the moment due to brain-dead mind:

- Played phone tag with hubby's health insurance company for a solid week re: location and authorization for a procedure on a special machine

- Had health procedure, which went mostly smoothly except for the machine stopping before the testing was finished (naturally this was the first time ever that this had happened with the machine), and am waiting for results

- Got a few nibbles and a few rejections re: full time jobs

- Indirectly got hubby another art gig via holiday card awesomesauce

- Got hubby a replacement wedding band two sizes smaller due to him losing 20-25 pounds from free weights and eating more healthfully (he's discovered he likes at least three types of apples plus very badly wants to try a ripe apricot! major fruit progress!)

- Lost a few pounds then gained it back from not sleeping much or well and snacking more on delicious chocolate-toffee goodness

- Saw one of my Sims adopt a wild horse and am happy that he's making progress with inviting the local raven unicorn into his household

- Got very pissed that Dublin Dr Pepper is no longer being made on account of corporate douchebaggery

- Decided I need to get the Samsung Galaxy Note when it hits, instead of waiting for the iPhone 5

That's all for now. Back to packing in a few minutes.