Showing posts with label continuing education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label continuing education. Show all posts

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Long ramblings on science, paranormality, the future of the Catholic church, and other stuff


"Well, this is going to take a long time, so you may want to get some snacks." - Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Seriously. Go get some snacks. And something to drink. I’ve been typing this up off and on for almost a month, and it kinda got more verbose than I’d planned, and I don't feel like messing with it any further so it's going up. Apologies in advance for the freethought rambling; I haven't gone on for this long in a while, but there's a fair amount of interconnectivity, so there.

So. Ratzi retiring. What a bit of interesting history in the making. Anyone wondering about the whole process of what happens in transition can get a good overview with current players mentioned at this link.

A lot of stuff has been going around about how he’s been an ineffective pope, how he hasn’t done enough for those abused by priests, blah blah yada. That’s all true, but Palpatine is pretty old. At least he’s not stubbornly staying put like JPII did. I admire dedication to the death, but ministers can still minister outside of the job of ministry, and that’s all the papal position is, really – a position. Whoever’s in the role of pope is first and foremost a priest. Maybe Ratzi just wants to retire and kick back with his pretty manservant. More power to that hypocrite if so.

Practicing what I preach via plastic.
Quick context for the rest of this post: I was baptized Catholic as an infant but mom took me out when I was 5 or 6 so we could support one of her friends who started a church. I grew up with her going to a non-denominational church, my dad going to a Catholic church, me going to an Assemblies of God church since I had friends who went there, and going a few times to both of those plus a Kingdom Hall with my Jehovah’s Witnesses relatives. I have a ton of friends who follow some form of organized religion (not necessarily Christian) or somewhat organized spirituality, and just as many friends who are totally atheist / agnostic / secular humanist. My husband is very well versed in scriptures of many faiths (we have a nice collection in our library), is a preacher’s kid, and lives in tune with Wakan Tanka, but is most assuredly an avowed agnostic. We have some different perspectives regarding some spiritual things since I’m an avowed pantheist, but it’s all good. Technically, I’m more of a Zen Catholic who does not practice much at all, but I consider myself a pantheist because my definition of God is everything in the multiverses that we do and do not yet know about, and my church is nature. For what it’s worth, I’m also a card-carrying ordained Spiritual Humanist because I have no problems holding dichotomies. I also need to renew my JREF membership one of these years.

For those who don’t know how my weird mind works, I’m definitely a skeptic but mysterious and paranormal things fascinate me. I had a somewhat mysterious experience while waking up on Christmas morning one year, and I’d gone through RCIA within the year or two before to get back into being a good Catholic. In researching Catholic this and that, I came across information about stigmata, and reading about Catherine of Siena having invisible stigmata fascinated me, since that Christmas morning I’d dreamed about religiousy Christmasy things (probably from wanting to go to midnight mass but not going) and woke up with pain in the palms of my hands and feet. It didn’t go away after a few months, and I knew there had to be a scientific-based explanation for it, so I learned a lot about how the mind can create things that aren’t there (like false memories), how emotions can affect the physical body, kundalini rising, stigmata in history, everything. I also tried to figure out what it meant to be Catholic (wow is that varied) and reconcile that to what I was experiencing since I had no other context for it.

Long story short, 11 or so years later I found that it had to do with a severe deficiency in B12 and that I had been experiencing the related peripheral neuropathy. What kills me is that I could’ve found out after only 5 years of not knowing. A naturopath started me on B12 sublingual to help me build back my system after each round of chemo for breast cancer, and she was expecting me to feel really awesome after a few weeks. Nope. Nothing. She was astonished. She thought out loud, saying it could be due to a B12 deficiency, but then immediately dismissed that since B12 deficiencies of that level were rare. Heh. I’m a magnet / poster child for very rare things happening, so I should have figured it out then. (I blame chemo brain for the oversight.) Years later, when my primary care physician’s assistant checked my levels, she found the deficiency and started me on B12 shots. I ended up having to have 1,000 cc IM something like twice a week or each week, then every two weeks for over a year. Normally I would’ve gone to a monthly schedule after three months if memory’s correct, but I noticed involuntary eye twitching right before my biweekly injection, and found out about that involuntary twitching being a sign of possible deficiency, so just kept with it. I got to feeling better, but to feel more “normal” I take 2,000 IU microlingual methylcobalamin each morning, and I still do 1 cc liquid cyanocobalamin for when I know I’m running low, like after getting nitrous at the dentist’s office or while recovering from a cold. Incidentally, it was not fun to personally learn that liquid B12 has an expiration date for a reason.

So yeah, f yeah, science! There is always something scientific for everything mysterious and paranormal, and to me, anything genuinely paranormal just hasn’t been explained by science yet. Take intuition. There’s a fair amount of woo attached to a simple human sense, and that’s just so strange to me. Some people are more in touch with their perceptive abilities than others are, just like some people are supertasters,have absolute pitch, great echolocation, etc. Intuition is just another regular sense.

I’m also very aware of how people use mysterious events to try to control the behavior of others. When I heard the breaking news about the pope resigning, because of my fascination with the mysterious and paranormal, I naturally thought about the Third Secret of Fatima. (I also thought about the whole list of popes prophesied by St. Malachy thing, but I’ll get to that later.) Sure, most people will dismiss the Third Secret as a bunch of malarkey, but I’ve been intrigued with how Joey Ratz has involved himself with it.

Long story short, back in the day, God’s mama told some kids that some crap was gonna go down, and that the guys heading Holy Mother Church needed to pay attention to it and maybe say some prayers and live better so that it wouldn’t be so bad. The guys in charge were like, nope!, for whatever reasons (likely power plays and other blah). Some of the guys have tried to cover things up and misdirect others about what the crap is all about. There are a lot of conspiracy theories about the Third Secret and the “grain of salt” perspective works well in reading them; some history can be found here,  and this page has kind of a nice overview of some things. (Personally, I can see the making known of the scope of abuse issues as the big huge destructive thing that helps with renewal of the overall organization into something better, but some people aren’t into that.) Some guys have laid hints down throughout time in order for there to be a bread crumb trail to follow in case a course correction is needed. Ratzi seems to be one of those latter guys. As Cardinal, he was kinda involved with stating somethings about the Third Secret for the record, and as Pope, he’s mentioned that the whole shebang isn’tconcluded yet. 

So what’s the crap? Basically there’s corruption in high places in the church, and that’s a Bad Thing. *shrug* Having worked at the chancery of a Catholic diocese for five years, I know some things about the behind-the-scenes mindsets, and that perspective is totally right on.  Totally solid. I could see compromises in not just business decisions but in overall Vatican orders barked at us. Rewording the Mass in English to make it more true to the literal Latin still grates on my nerves, but that’s a personal preference (shared by some of the priests I talked with while trying to get their feedback on the then-suggested translations; not all evolution in theological understanding is good evolution, but meh). I’m not schooled in theology so I leave that up to the experts, but I’m wrinkling my nose as I do.

As far as internal strife, yeah. The tension between Bishops Grahmann and Galante was so thick some days it was like molasses to walk through, but that situation was a bit weird to begin with. (Normally, another bishop is brought in when one’s about to leave, but the one there wasn’t leaving, and so the other ended up being transferred some years later… yeah, awkward.) That tension, along with the molestation madness exploding, along with there being a bankruptcy plan on the shelf due to lawsuits against the diocese for local abuse issues, was enough to make me consider leaving the liturgical work that I really really really loved doing. Not only was I using my music education degree, I was all up ons with ritual. I loves me some ritual! And browsing catalogs full of vestments and shiny communion vessels and furniture…. Good times, good times. I should’ve left it sooner than I did, but I’m still grateful for the health insurance benefits I had through the diocese while I was still there, ‘cos unexpected triple negative breast cancer at age 30 was a bitch. It was even harder to see two occasional coworkers from there pass away from breast cancer. Both were older than I was; one had the aggressive form I did and the other had the usual kind that came back and metastatized within two years after having a mastectomy. The survivor’s guilt was pretty horrible.

It seems like the big thing about the Third Secret from this and from other tidbits scattered across the interweb is that because of the corruption of the church from within, Catholics everywhere are losing their faith. Some guy alluded to the loss of faith of a continent being worse than a ton of people being annihilated or something like that. This whole notion of people falling away from churchy things is really kind of a duh nowadays though, and not just in the Catholic realm.

Hold that thought while I mention the Malachy thing. Another long story short (did you get some snacks?), some guy allegedly called a dragon to weave a mist, no, wait. So this other guy wrote some buzzwords for all the popes who’d pope over the next few hundred years, and in some cases they’ve been eerily matchy-matchy (especially with JPII). We’re at the end of the list, and some Catholics are all, “this is the end!” while other Catholics are all, “there could be any number of popes between the current Doctor and his last incarnation, and the number could be totally different now since River Song used the rest of hers to bring Eleven back”…. oh wait, uh…. Well, some say there could be a gap between the next to last pope on Malachy’s list and the for reals last pope. Whatevs. There's been recent talk about it again, anyway.

Although I’m fascinated by prophecies and would love to be the Oracle of Delphi for Hallowe’en someday (someone get me the funny gases for authenticity, or maybe just some absinthe), my opinion of them is best stated by Londo Mollari (Babylon 5, "The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari"):

“Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn't, it's a metaphor. You could put a gun to your head tomorrow and pull the trigger, and then the dream is just a dream and the prophecy is just a metaphor… and so are you."

With the freshness of the Mayan non-apocalypse of 2012 in mind, and the buzzwords of end times and penitence and all that jazz, and with the power plays of the bishops and Vatican and Third Secret in mind, you know what? Ratzi is right.

Seriously. You heard me. Ratzi is right. And one (like me) doesn’t have to like him in the least to see that, with the concern about sensationalism. The whole thing with atheism as an evil taking over the world though… yeah, that’s not. It’s just life happening. Nothing to see here. Move along. Of course abusers molesting children is sensationalist. Of course people who have had faith are losing it. These things are connected in some cases, but in many many many other cases, atheism is just the natural evolution of seeing what religion is supposed to do and epically failing at it. I have friends who were devout Christians in a past life but have dropped at least some of their beliefs because of the power of education. Some still minister in churchy ways because they genuinely want to help others still, especially with when deconstruction of faith happens, and more power to them. That’s a tough path to go on.

See, in my opinion (which is considered a bona fide fact by many), religion is supposed to be like training wheels. You learn the basics, then ride however you want, AFTER you learn the consequences of what might happen if you’re not responsible with protecting yourself. At that point, you’re supposed to learn on your own about what’s best for you. Organized religion is nothing more than “How to be a Good Human 101, now with character stories!” It’s like, you know how those 613 laws in the Old Testament are still followed by some Jews but are not followed by Christians living a New Testament life? What works for some doesn’t work for others. Some people need more structure than others in order to live a good, decent, human life, with continual learning on how to best interact with fellow humans. Some people live best in a comfort zone of a tight-knit supportive community that doesn’t get shaken up by new ideas, and as long as they’re not hurting anyone, more power to them too.

The kicker is, there are a LOT of people who hide behind religion and use it as a shield to cover up whatever crap they know they’re doing. You know, like ultra-religious conservative politicians who want to legislate body parts of others without even having any real education on how said parts work, or even having said parts, because that’s what Jeeeeesus would want. Like well-meaning people who are complete bigots and racists because they don’t know any better, because they were taught a certain way and are unable and/or unwilling to think for themselves and evolve. Like those who refuse to see things like gay marriage as a civil rights issue completely outside of any religious context.

The real kicker is, most atheists are way more ethical, generous, and better people than a lot of people involved with religion. I’m not saying that everyone in a faith system is doing it wrong. Far from it. I’m just saying that religion is just one way to learn how to be a good person. Some people don’t need the threat of anything divine in order to be a good person. That’s just how it is. There are also assholes in every group, and that goes for atheist circles as well as Christian circles, but thankfully there are many more good people than asses.

So. To recap, or something, since I’m still rambling: Sensationalism with loss of faith is really nothing big these days. In the early twentieth century, yeah, that would be a huge deal, but not now. Damn hippies in the 60s, right? *smirk* Loss of faith a natural thing that happens to a lot of people who grew up with serious church attending and holy book reading and giving of money and all that. The more one learns about a faith, and about other faiths, and about non-faiths, the more it’s obvious that religion is mainly used to keep a segment of people under some sort of control. Analogies of ALMIGHTY GAWWWWWD and the Tooth Fairy and Santa are totally right on, and one doesn’t have to like it in the least for it to be true. And it’s definitely true.

Pantheist me still finds wonder and mystery and a sense of divinity in nature and in science, in how we humans connect with each other across time and space, and in how we interact and continue to grow during life. Evolution is natural. It’d just be nice for the science to catch up more with some of the seemingly paranormal stuff, like intuition. Humans have way more than 5 senses (some say we have like 21 or so), and there’s no reason we need to keep limiting ourselves just because some people insist on outdated information. Living with outdated information is like adults still participating as a child would in children’s church, and it’s completely unnecessary and sometimes dangerous. Someone might try to take advantage of you, knowing that you like living in cushy touchy feely certainties (that aren’t really certainties, but who’s going to tell you that? Nobody, that’s who).

Evolve, if you already aren't. You'll thank yourself for it later.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I got your PointsPlus right here, pally!

So... three months on the job and I'm happy that I've not gained any stress weight. In fact, since I still have stress weight from the last two jobs plus gained poundage from years of medication roulette, and since I like the idea of "1) here's how you calculate points, and 2) only eat so many points a day to lose weight," I'm doing Weight Watchers At Work. (Yes, I'm doing this through my awesome workplace in a supportive group setting, and I have to say, the stresses I have there are familiar yet somewhat unfamiliar, and I definitely do not want to let the stress go to my thighs and arms again!)

So far, so good. Today was our three week weigh-in and so far I've lost 6.2 pounds. I'm not drinking Dr Pepper as often but I am drinking the shit out of diet 7up, diet Sprite, and diet Sierra Mist (and the dSM strawberry kiwi is impressing me). I'm not doing much exercise because of post-exertional malaise (thank you fibro and Sjogren's for the lovely uber-fatigue) but we found an elliptical that doesn't make my creaky knees hurt and I'm working out on that as I'm able. I also go down and up at least 6 flights of stairs a day so that's helpful.

Things I've learned from the first 3 weeks of Weight Watchers (because there's always something new to learn even with already knowing a ton about nutrition and healthiness and all that):

- Following the PointsPlus thing is really freakin' easy, especially with the handy special calculator. For fatigued and sometimes fibrofogged and somewhat lazy me, this rocks.

- Some of the proprietary Weight Watchers food is actually pretty good. I'm loving the mint cookie crisp snack bars, chocolate pretzel snack bars, bbq chips, and chocolate swirl cookies something fierce, although I'm definitely looking for popped bbq chips when grocery shopping since it's a lot cheaper. The snack bars are literally two bites worth of food, but that's really all that's needed for a quick snack since these are kinda dense and taste more rich than they look.

- Feeling deprived means you're doing it wrong. It's all about choosing what to eat, and when. Today for breakfast I had morning meds, a vanilla Chobani, and coffee with almond milk at 7:30 am. For a 9:50 am pre-two-meetings-in-a-row snack I had a mint cookie crisp bar. For lunch at 12:45 I had four slices of honey deli ham, 1 slice of colby jack cheese, and 1 tbsp of light Miracle Whip on an everything thin bagel, along with 15-16 French onion Sun Chips and some diet Sierra Mist. For a why-am-I-still-at-work snack at 5:40 pm, I had a chocolate pretzel blast bar. For dinner at 6:45 pm I had some strawberry kiwi diet Sierra Mist with a SmartOnes ravioli florentine, followed by 30-32 Sun Chips (harvest cheddar and french onion) and evening meds. I don't feel deprived At All. Points-wise, this takes up my 26 daily points and 9 of my 49 point slush per week. (It actually takes up 11 points but I had 2 activity points and traded those for food points. For me, 10 minutes of low intensity activity equals 1 activity point, and lotsa stuff counts as activity.) If I feel hungry later on tonight, I'll have some apples or cherries or grapes. Actually, cherries sound kinda good right now. BRB.

- A sushi roll is generally 12 points (3 points per 2 roll slices). Nigeri is better at 3 points per 4 nigeri. A hibachi filet mignon meal at Benihana (includnig veggies, soup, salad, etc.) is freakin' 27 points. I could splurge on that if I wanted to but yikes.

- Nuts are from the devil, y'all. Holy bajeebus. I'm way better off as a steakaholic!

- I generally eat healthy anyway, but now have a better idea of how much I go overboard when I know I go overboard. Like when I splurge on the coconut shrimp at anywhere. Or use as much olive oil as I'd normally use for any kind of stir-fry.

- I've totally missed out on incredibly indulgent eating, thanks to combinations I've learned about from coworkers. The french fries in a Frosty thing I knew about, but not the breadsticks dipped in alfredo sauce.

- I'm kind of an emotional eater in that I'll graze a lot and not really care about how much I graze, especially when I'm bored. When I'm upset, I go for either dairy (which usually makes my gut protest all violent-like) or fatty (nuts or the aforementioned coconut shrimp). Otherwise, if I'm really upset or in the zone doing work or focused on whatever, I'll forget to eat.

- I've tended to not remember to eat lunch until around 2pm for many years. Now I'm straight up eating lunch at 11:30am some days, by 12:45pm other days.

- I've been really pissy the last few days, wanting to eat a ton of anything in sight because my metabolism is currently ramped up, but yay for apples and carrots. Apples and carrots (and Sun Chips) are delicious.

- I'm totally getting a ton of protein-filled yumminess the next time I shop for groceries. Mmm... bison. Speaking of protein-filled yumminess, it is possible to go to Babe's Chicken House and eat only smoked chicken and a little bit of corn and come out absolutely stuffed and satisfied. Their smoked chicken is what we had for Thanksgiving or Christmas last year, or was it the year before? I dunno. I don't care. It was totes worth it.

In other news, fibro/Sjogren's flares from summertime really suck, photography is happening in bits and pieces, my Sims 3 addiction is still in place, and I have a good start on a screenplay I've been asked to write. It'll be a docu-fiction, and I'm really amazed that there's not been a movie done about the particular era of time I've chosen. The setting combined with the perspective of the person with the brilliant story idea makes me want to get it written as quickly as possible so no one else ganks the awesomeness. Seriously, I don't know how this isn't already a movie, and no, I'm not even mentioning general details since omg this is not going to be ganked from me!

And now is the time on Sprockets ven ve danz! 

Friday, December 16, 2011

Stop! Sabbatical time!

Okay, that's it. I'm officially going on sabbatical. Much of 2012 is going to be full of continuing education, development, writing, photoing, fine tuning, and relaxing. I thought I'd get all of that done this year. My brain is screaming to my heart right now, "Wrong, fool! Keep it goin'!" My heart wants a cookie for the pain.

We're in our new place in less than a month and there is still so much to organize and toss and pack. I have so much reading to do on entrepreneurship via some kick-ass resources, so much writing to do in general, so much photo work to do (ai yah, I need to make more time for that next year), so much resting to do to reinforce this whole wellness lifestyle, etc. My brain looks at everything, compartmentalizes life into neat little boxes, and gives the rest of me a punk attitude, like my body can do what it did when I was younger. (If only getting carded chronically could make my body younger. Sad face.) My body looks at my brain and gives it the stink eye. My heart just pounds because it can't decide which thing to take on first so settles on working on a few small things concurrently, and then it feels overwhelmed with looking at surrounding things to do and wishes for a cookie to appear. I'll still be blogging but the big website I have envisioned won't be up for a little while. Damn, I need to make the temporary site live... after finishing that... and also finish the holiday cards, which will be mailed next week since I had to order breast cancer stamps because my local post offices had none and I'm not waiting in any more long lines this year.

By the way, the best ideas I've had this month involved combining pumpkin spice and snickerdoodle mixes and using the cinnamon sugar topping on formed cookies before baking. They. Are. Ridiculously. Fantastic! And in my refrigerator. So I'm off to get a cookie. Because I can. And because I need it for my well being.